Thursday, July 30, 2009
Red Fly Stuido likes my Ghostbusters Co Op Review!
Yet again, Red Fly Studio's development Blog tells people to watch my review! Holy crap I am getting more famous every single week. I'll try not to get a swelled head over it. The acknowledge meant is under Ghostbusters the Press on Red Fly's Blog site. They even mentioned my wife too! Red Fly Studio's blog - http://devblog.redflystudio.com/press-2/ghostbusters-articles/
July 29th, 2009
Kwing’s updated review of Ghostbusters for the Wii contains a ton of extra co-op footage with Mrs. Kwing playing along and commenting.
If you haven’t picked up the game yet, watch these two have a blast with it and then go buy it!
This is so EPIC, the only issue I have this is they don't link to my website and they say updated review. This wasn't updated -sigh- My show is not the same as my Gottgame,BLP Gaming,Game KnightZ or written reviews either. Oh well I will take what I can get! Ha Irate and AVGN may be famous, but old Kwing is getting more street cred with Game Developers. BOOYHA!
- Kwing
http://therealgamemaster.com/
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
I used to write Fanfics!
Man I love the internet, back in my 3rd year of College I wrote a Zelda comedy fanfic called "Legend of Zelda: Age of Lost Yogurt" I also wrote a Smash Bros fanfic and Gundam Wing long time ago. I am such a Nerd, I thought that this time in my life, had to been lost to the void of time. But its back. This has inspired me too WRITE AGAIN! So after I finish my last episodes of Season 3 Ghostbusters,Overlord,Conduit,MyLife as a King and Rune Factory Frontier. I will continue my Age of lost yogurt story, Im thinking of having people stuck in a time warp or something - How else will I explain the outcome of whats been going on? Below is the full 2 chapters. Although I do need to be careful since Ulcer is back, I laughed so hard this morning I cried. I was a great writer, a long time ago
- Kwing
Http://www.therealgamemaster.com
The Legend Of Zelda: Age of the lost...Yogurt!!!
Disclaimer: Hi I'm the author. Well unfortunately these characters are not mine even though I pleaded to the divines, and my laundry mat owner. But I can still pretend that the people of Nintendo are nice, and gave me permission to use them. But guess what I didn't ask them SO THERE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! This fanfic was written at 1:30 am by my six personalities :) Hope u enjoy it as much as we did doing...er writing it.
ACT: ONE
Narrator: Our story begins, as do all stories at North Castle. However; for the state of consistency we will start in the Lost Woods.
Any who we find Link and Zelda doing....*record scratches* OH MY. YOU CAN'T DO THAT THE SENSORS WILL....... (Voice: ) the following program has been restricted do to some sexu..... See WHAT I MEAN! KNOCK IT OFF. Sorry bout that. *Rewind* as I was saying Link and Zelda were relaxing under a shady tree reading Great Expectations. When Link had a thought....
Link: I have a thought.
Zelda: What would that thought be? *Batting her eyes*
Link: Well it's just. How can I say it?
Zelda: Yes? *stars in her eyes*
Link: Its just I really would...like to...
Zelda: Go on.
Link: You see I really could go for....
Zelda: You can say it.
Link: I'd like some Yogurt :)
Zelda: *thud*
Link: Princess you okay? I bet you just need time to yourself. I'll head back to the castle. Later.
Zelda: (that idiot wouldn't know a good thing if it hit him square in the jaw.) *sigh*
Narrator: Meanwhile in someplace hidden, forbidden, and lets not forget all out spooky, Ganon paces, for the poor villain has been defeated over, and over and over...you get the idea. ^_^
GANON: WHY do I always keep losing?? I mean look at me; I'm more buff than that monkey of a hero!!!!! =O
Henchman 9928: Well sir you are the villain.
GANON: GASP!
Wizrobe111: It's true my vile one. Just take a look at your contract, and that should clear up any doubts you may have.
GANON: You're right. Send for the legal guy, and also fetch my reading glasses while you're at it. This print is DARN TINY!!!
Legalguy: You called sire?
GANON: *Shocked* WOW that was faster than the IRS.
Legalguy: Yes yes. Now what is it you want of *posing* LEGAL GUY!!!
GANON: -_-' Who are shouting at?
Legalguy: ? *Ahem* Lets take look-see at the document. (Takes document) hmmmm
GANON: *puzzled* what is it? Tell me.... TELL ME
Legalguy: It's just that it says here.... that
GANON: SPIT IT OooooUuuTtTTTttTTT!!!!!!!
Legalguy: It says here I can save up to 15% on my car insurance if I switch to Geiko.
GANON: How does that help ME?
Legalguy: Who cares! I'm switching to Geiko! *Winks and does thumbs up at camera*
GANON: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? Why did you just WINK????!!!
Legalguy: I did no such THING!
GANON: YOU WINKED I SAW YOU DO IT!!!!! *Get angry*
Legalguy: You must have imagined it. *winks again*
GANON: THAT TIME I SAW YOU!
Legalguy: Saw what?
GANON: YOU WINked.... uh... ah, screw it!
Just leave I have stuff I need to plan.... *evil laughter* Mwuahahahahaha!!!! MWUAHAHA...ahh....ahhhhhhhchoooo!!!!!!
Legalguy: Bless you. *wink*
GANON: AND STOP THAT WINKING!!!!!! (Imbecile)
Narrator: Meanwhile at the gates of North Castle, Link appears to be in a mess himself......
Link: What do you mean it's EXPIRED?!
Guard: It's just as I told you. Your pass to enter has expired about 1 hour ago.
Link: But that's impossible. You CAN'T shut me out. I live here!!!!!
Guard: *sarcastic* Boo hyphen hoo.
LINK: Listen BUCKET HEAD.....*gate closes* you can't do this to me. I know the Princess! I'll get you fired. You'll never work in this town again!!!
*Kicks gate* OW!!!!!!
Guard 21: Hey Link.
Link: Hey 21.
21: What's the problem?
Link: That guard won't let me in the castle.
21: Bummer. Well listen I'd love to stay and chat but I have to get on duty now.
Link: Hold up! Do you have a pass I could barrow?
21: It's against regulations....
Link: Who's going to know? *Sly smile*
21: Alright just take it. *turns toward gate* Hey FRANK!
Frank: YEAH.
21: Open up would yas?!
Frank: Hold up a min.
*gate grinds open*
21: Hey Frank hows the Mrs.?
Frank: BAH! I've been sleepin on the couch 'bout a week now.
21:Yikes that's rough.
Frank: Tell me 'bout it.
21: Well I gots the graveyard swift tonight.
Frank: I hear ya. Later.
*gate closes*
Link: Well here goes nothin'. *slips card to guard*
Guard: Good evening Mr. Iwata.
Link:HI -_-'
Guard: I thought you were on trip to Termaina?
Link: I was then I cameback because.....? (think, think, think)
Guard: ....
Link: I forgot my keys. THATS it! :)
Guard: And you didn't realize this a year ago -_-'
*gate opens, Link steps through*
Link: Well it took me a while to realize I didn't have pockets. *nervous laugh* (Stupid. Real good.)
Guard: Hmmm I see, well when you're rich I guess... ah nevermind.
*gate shuts*
Guard: Goodnight Mr. IWATA.
Link: You too guard. (Can't believe it worked, heh heh)
Guard: (Funny, I thought was short and Asian? Oh well!)
Narrator: As Link heads toward Zelda's chamber he seems to think he forgot something.
Link: Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something......
Narrator: Because I told you, that's why! =D
Link: *shrugs* Ohhh okay, thanks! ^_^
*Knock knock*
Zelda: Who is it?
Link: Link!
Zelda:Link who?
Link: Zelda it's me, Link
Zelda: Zelda it's me Link? Who's that?
Link *THUD* No Zelda its me LINK!!!!!
Zelda: STOP IT. Now your just confusing me!
Link: Ugh. *Pushes open door* Hi honey I'm hom.....AHHHHH!!!! *Axe comes hurdling toward his head*
Zelda: LINK?! Are you okay?
*Axe embedded in the door frame inches from Link's head*
Link: *face white as a ghost* ImMm GoOd.
Zelda: Next time you enter a woman's chambers it would be wise to say who you are.
Link: *looks at the camera and shrugs*
Zelda: What took you so long to get home?
End of Act 1
The Legend Of Zelda: Age The Lost Yogurt Chapter 2
Disclaimer: Hey it’s me again. Thanks for the reviews. :) SooOOOOoo you want more huh? Well happy to oblige. Since I'm going to be away for a while so I thought I'd write chapter 3 as well. If there are any more complaints then I.... I’ll...I'LL CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or not. I could come when you are sleeping and force you to listen to 60's protest music. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!.... sorry I know that’s scary. Moving on. Anyway blah, blah, blah these character are not mine. They're owned by Nintendo...blah blah...and etc.
Oh yeah. Any use of Legalguy without my permission will result in a tragic and sudden death. I will kill you until you die from it!
With that said have a great day. :) In other words Legalguy is my creation just like Nintendo owns Legend Of Zelda. I own Legalguy!
So there. Boo-hoo!!!!
Scene 706 or Act:2
The Narration Job!
Narrator: well I'm here to give the people what they want. My own cooking show! *Martha Stewart type music playing*
Greetings! Today we are going to make fresh Koopa shell. Hmmmmm tasty. The first step is to turn on the oven like so. Remember to preset the oven to 400 degrees and ...... *Unnatural noises heard*
Link: What in the Sages is going ON here!!!!!
Narrator: *nervous laugh* Whatever do you mean?
Link: It looks to me like you are doing a cooking show! Well!?
Narrator: So what if I am? What are you going to do about it fairy boy? Hmm?
Link: The first thing I'm going to do is....
Narrator: You can’t hurt me I'm not REAL! Muhahahahahahaha! In fact you are going to help me!
Link: Bah! It is to laugh! HA HA HAHA!
Narrator: You asked for it! *As Link was about to attack the Narrator he noticed the oven had something shiny in it, and he thought to himself, "I wonder what this could be."*
Link: (I wonder what that object could be) *steps inside oven*
Narrator: (heh heh)
Link: Hey there is nothing in here.
*door shuts*
NOOOooooOOOOOOoooo. DuUmMb!
Narrator: Now you see why evil will always triumph. Because GOOD is dumb! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Link: man I feel sheepish!
*Ganon Appears*
Ganon: THIS IS ALL WRONG!!!!!!!
Narrator: *brow raised*
Ganon: I’m the BAD GUY! ME! *Confused*
Narrator: Hmmmm
Ganon: I'll show you whose more EVIL!
*Opens oven door*
Narrator: I take that back evil is dumber than good!
Link: See what I have to deal with!
*Zelda appears out of nowhere*
Zelda: ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!!! *Voice thunders*
*All cringe*
Link: See now lOok WhAt yOu DiD.....*fear grips him*
Ganon: I want my Mommy!!!!
Zelda: I'll show you ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Much chaos ensues*
AAAHHHHHHHhhhhhhh
NoooOOOOOoooo
ThE HoRroR...THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can’t feel my legs!!!!!!! Wait I don’t have legs! Even worse!
*Screen fades. Happy soothing music plays, and Link appears*
Link: Hi you might know me as Link. The Hero Of Time. Or Savior of Hyrule. Well do to the censors getting on our backs lately we are not able to show you what is going on behind me. But trust me it is WICKED SWEET!!!!!! Of course since I'm the Hero, and everyone loves me, and doesn't want any harm to come to me I will not be harmed in anyway possible. So just sit back and rel..... *paper handed to Link by somebody’s hand* This just in we here at Nintendo would give our permission to see Link pounded into a pulp. Sincerely, the Guys at Nintendo. Ummm there seems to be a problem. Wait! Lets take a poll. How many of you want to see me beaten within an inch of my life?
*Poll appears..*
Link loses.
Link: Well isn’t that just TERRIFIC! WHOEVER VOTED YOU ARE OFF MY GOOD THINGS LIST!!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN IT THIS TIME!
*hand grabs Link from faded background* NOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....*POW* OW *SLAM*
PAIN! *THUD* OoooHhhHHh ThE HuMaNiTy......
*thrashing stops and Zelda appears in Link's place*
Zelda: Hi everyone. *Waves* Now that I’ve taught those guys a lesson. *Groans heard* I think it would be fair for you the reader to get your story. So lets get back to the original plot, which was *drum roll* ... Nothing!
*thud* -_-' That can't be right! We had a plot didn’t we??
Scene 904. Act 2: Before the Silliness!
Narrator: We left Link and Zelda in the bedchambers at North Castle. But because I'm curious about Ganon.....
Ganon: BINGO!!!!!!!
Wizrobe 222: What is it Evil One?
Ganon: Hmm?
Stalfos 3: You said Bingo?
Ganon: Thats because I WON!!! *Dances for joy*
All: -_-'
Stalfos 3: Sir we are playing blackjack! *sighs*
Ganon: *happy dance ceases* Are you questioning me!?
All: *back away slowly*
Stalfos 3: Sire we aren’t playing Bingo. Therefore you can't win like that.
Ganon: *sly grin* So then. Are you saying I'm wrong!?
Stalfos 3: Well, yeah!
All: *GASP*
Ganon: I thought so! *Turns around* WHY YOU MISERABLE LITTLE WORM! I'LL CHEW YOU UP AND SPIT YOU OoOOOoUUUuuuTTTtttTTTTTttt!!!!!!!
All: (not here anymore. just don’t think about it)
*Grand piano crushes 3*
Narrator: Does anyone want to know where the piano came from?
All: NO!!!
Narrator: Drat... ;_;
Ganon: Well now that I've won at Bingo! *snaps fingers*
Legalguy: Yes O Smelly One.
Ganon: I want you to do something for me Legalguy.
Legalguy: Get you Geiko too?
Ganon: Yes. But not right now.
Legalguy: Are you sure?
Ganon: WHAT!? ARE YOU DEAF!!!!
Legalguy: (now I am)
Ganon: I cant read your thought patterns! STOP THAT! What do you think this is A CHEAP COMIC BOOooOOoKKkkkKKKkkkk!???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Legalguy: Of course not. What is your bidding my somewhat fat master?
Ganon: I want you to infiltrate North Castle and do evil bad type THINGS!
Legalguy: I'm out of spray paint. I used it last week on LAWYERMAN's car!
Ganon: I see. Well then just sell them door to door annoying items!
Legalguy: It shall be done!
Ganon: ha haha HA HAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....
Legalguy: ha haha HA HAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *cough*
*fade to black screen*
Narrator: Oh No. Selling door-to-door items. WHAT fiends! What will happen to our unsuspecting heroes?
Tune in tomorrow same time, same channel... *cheesy music*
End of Act 2
Author Notes: Hmmmmm guess that was interesting. YUP. That’s the word well thought I'd annouce my original weekly humorous stories.
The Adventures Of LEGALGUY! Starting August 1st be sure to read and laugh till ya feel sick :) Also for future reference my Zelda stories will be moved to starting July 9th. Also my Smash Bro and Gundamwing fanfics will be up on around the same time as Legalguy appears on this site.
Be sure to catch Act 3: The Final Chapter: The Lost Yogurt makes an appearance...sort of!
Now here is a sneak peek of my original work, LEGALGUY!
Disclaimer: Do any of you remember the Tick cartoon show? Well if you don’t it was a good show. But Legalguy has nothing to do with that. I copyright Legalguy.
LORD TIMMY of COB! My sister copyrights Lawboy.
Legalguy: It was a day like any other day. My ceiling fan was broken so my clothes were sticking to me and it was getting really uncomfortable! Really.
Then there came a knock on my door:
.........
Legalguy: ahem. I said a knock at my door..... -_-'
I SAID a knock at my door. *Visibly annoyed*
I SAID A KNOCK AT MY DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Knock...knock*
Legalguy: She was by far the fattest guy I've ever seen.
fatlady: Excuse me?
Legalguy: (blast) Now I get a thought bubble!!!
fatlady: You must help me Legalguy!
Legalguy: What appears to be the trouble?
fatlady: It’s my cat.
Legalguy: Your cat?
fatlady: Yes my cat! *sob*
Legalguy: I see. So how much does your cat owe you?
fatlady: He owes me everything.
Legalguy: *sly smile* Really. Now I do charge a small fee of 30%. Also that is subject to change. *Wolfish grin*
fatlady: I'm sorry?
Legalguy: Yes my fee. You know my fee you pay me to--
fatlady: Rescue my cat out of a tree!?
Legalguy: Right, to rescue your-- *THUD* What?!
fatlady: Well you are a superhero are you not? I mean you’re dressed in a cape and cowl.
Legalguy: Oh I SEE.
fatlady: Excuse me?
Legalguy: JUST BECAUSE I WEAR A CAPE AND COWL YOU THINK I'M A HERO?! DID YOU EVER THINK I LIKE WEARING THEM TO WORK!!?????!!!! HUH???!!!
fatlady: Well I just assumed....!
Legalguy: Ah HA! You assumed!
fatlady: I don’t need to take this you know! I could go to Superman or Postageguy!
Legalguy: FINE!
fatlady: You know YOU ARE VERY RUDE MAN!
Legalguy: You're breaking my heart! HAHAHAHA!!!
fatlady: WHY YOU!!!! TAKE THIS!!!
Legalguy*BOP* OW! *BOP* STOP IT! *BOP* This is wrong! Do you hear me wrong!!! *SMASH* FoR ThE LoVE Of MmIikkKKeee... *CRACK* .... It hurts.....*WHOMP*
*knocked out*
fatlady: I'll be sure to tell my friends about you, jerk.
Narrator: And so ends yet another exciting short adventure of Legalguy. Be sure to tune in weekly starting August 1st for my words of wisdom from....
Legalguy: Ah BITE ME!
Be sure to tune in readers August 1st only at Fiction
The Original series Legalguy and Lawboy. All characters are owned and created by me.
If you would like to see a drawing of Legalguy and crew please email me. Thank you and as
Legalguy would say.
Legalguy: Go TALK to somebody who gives a FLYING TODD!!!!!
Review this Story/Chapter
Act 3 Raiders of the lost Yogurt COMING SOON August 2009 to FanfictionPress - http://www.fictionpress.com/u/113392/Lord_Timmy_of_Cob1
- Kwing
Http://www.therealgamemaster.com
The Legend Of Zelda: Age of the lost...Yogurt!!!
Disclaimer: Hi I'm the author. Well unfortunately these characters are not mine even though I pleaded to the divines, and my laundry mat owner. But I can still pretend that the people of Nintendo are nice, and gave me permission to use them. But guess what I didn't ask them SO THERE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! This fanfic was written at 1:30 am by my six personalities :) Hope u enjoy it as much as we did doing...er writing it.
ACT: ONE
Narrator: Our story begins, as do all stories at North Castle. However; for the state of consistency we will start in the Lost Woods.
Any who we find Link and Zelda doing....*record scratches* OH MY. YOU CAN'T DO THAT THE SENSORS WILL....... (Voice: ) the following program has been restricted do to some sexu..... See WHAT I MEAN! KNOCK IT OFF. Sorry bout that. *Rewind* as I was saying Link and Zelda were relaxing under a shady tree reading Great Expectations. When Link had a thought....
Link: I have a thought.
Zelda: What would that thought be? *Batting her eyes*
Link: Well it's just. How can I say it?
Zelda: Yes? *stars in her eyes*
Link: Its just I really would...like to...
Zelda: Go on.
Link: You see I really could go for....
Zelda: You can say it.
Link: I'd like some Yogurt :)
Zelda: *thud*
Link: Princess you okay? I bet you just need time to yourself. I'll head back to the castle. Later.
Zelda: (that idiot wouldn't know a good thing if it hit him square in the jaw.) *sigh*
Narrator: Meanwhile in someplace hidden, forbidden, and lets not forget all out spooky, Ganon paces, for the poor villain has been defeated over, and over and over...you get the idea. ^_^
GANON: WHY do I always keep losing?? I mean look at me; I'm more buff than that monkey of a hero!!!!! =O
Henchman 9928: Well sir you are the villain.
GANON: GASP!
Wizrobe111: It's true my vile one. Just take a look at your contract, and that should clear up any doubts you may have.
GANON: You're right. Send for the legal guy, and also fetch my reading glasses while you're at it. This print is DARN TINY!!!
Legalguy: You called sire?
GANON: *Shocked* WOW that was faster than the IRS.
Legalguy: Yes yes. Now what is it you want of *posing* LEGAL GUY!!!
GANON: -_-' Who are shouting at?
Legalguy: ? *Ahem* Lets take look-see at the document. (Takes document) hmmmm
GANON: *puzzled* what is it? Tell me.... TELL ME
Legalguy: It's just that it says here.... that
GANON: SPIT IT OooooUuuTtTTTttTTT!!!!!!!
Legalguy: It says here I can save up to 15% on my car insurance if I switch to Geiko.
GANON: How does that help ME?
Legalguy: Who cares! I'm switching to Geiko! *Winks and does thumbs up at camera*
GANON: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? Why did you just WINK????!!!
Legalguy: I did no such THING!
GANON: YOU WINKED I SAW YOU DO IT!!!!! *Get angry*
Legalguy: You must have imagined it. *winks again*
GANON: THAT TIME I SAW YOU!
Legalguy: Saw what?
GANON: YOU WINked.... uh... ah, screw it!
Just leave I have stuff I need to plan.... *evil laughter* Mwuahahahahaha!!!! MWUAHAHA...ahh....ahhhhhhhchoooo!!!!!!
Legalguy: Bless you. *wink*
GANON: AND STOP THAT WINKING!!!!!! (Imbecile)
Narrator: Meanwhile at the gates of North Castle, Link appears to be in a mess himself......
Link: What do you mean it's EXPIRED?!
Guard: It's just as I told you. Your pass to enter has expired about 1 hour ago.
Link: But that's impossible. You CAN'T shut me out. I live here!!!!!
Guard: *sarcastic* Boo hyphen hoo.
LINK: Listen BUCKET HEAD.....*gate closes* you can't do this to me. I know the Princess! I'll get you fired. You'll never work in this town again!!!
*Kicks gate* OW!!!!!!
Guard 21: Hey Link.
Link: Hey 21.
21: What's the problem?
Link: That guard won't let me in the castle.
21: Bummer. Well listen I'd love to stay and chat but I have to get on duty now.
Link: Hold up! Do you have a pass I could barrow?
21: It's against regulations....
Link: Who's going to know? *Sly smile*
21: Alright just take it. *turns toward gate* Hey FRANK!
Frank: YEAH.
21: Open up would yas?!
Frank: Hold up a min.
*gate grinds open*
21: Hey Frank hows the Mrs.?
Frank: BAH! I've been sleepin on the couch 'bout a week now.
21:Yikes that's rough.
Frank: Tell me 'bout it.
21: Well I gots the graveyard swift tonight.
Frank: I hear ya. Later.
*gate closes*
Link: Well here goes nothin'. *slips card to guard*
Guard: Good evening Mr. Iwata.
Link:HI -_-'
Guard: I thought you were on trip to Termaina?
Link: I was then I cameback because.....? (think, think, think)
Guard: ....
Link: I forgot my keys. THATS it! :)
Guard: And you didn't realize this a year ago -_-'
*gate opens, Link steps through*
Link: Well it took me a while to realize I didn't have pockets. *nervous laugh* (Stupid. Real good.)
Guard: Hmmm I see, well when you're rich I guess... ah nevermind.
*gate shuts*
Guard: Goodnight Mr. IWATA.
Link: You too guard. (Can't believe it worked, heh heh)
Guard: (Funny, I thought was short and Asian? Oh well!)
Narrator: As Link heads toward Zelda's chamber he seems to think he forgot something.
Link: Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something......
Narrator: Because I told you, that's why! =D
Link: *shrugs* Ohhh okay, thanks! ^_^
*Knock knock*
Zelda: Who is it?
Link: Link!
Zelda:Link who?
Link: Zelda it's me, Link
Zelda: Zelda it's me Link? Who's that?
Link *THUD* No Zelda its me LINK!!!!!
Zelda: STOP IT. Now your just confusing me!
Link: Ugh. *Pushes open door* Hi honey I'm hom.....AHHHHH!!!! *Axe comes hurdling toward his head*
Zelda: LINK?! Are you okay?
*Axe embedded in the door frame inches from Link's head*
Link: *face white as a ghost* ImMm GoOd.
Zelda: Next time you enter a woman's chambers it would be wise to say who you are.
Link: *looks at the camera and shrugs*
Zelda: What took you so long to get home?
End of Act 1
The Legend Of Zelda: Age The Lost Yogurt Chapter 2
Disclaimer: Hey it’s me again. Thanks for the reviews. :) SooOOOOoo you want more huh? Well happy to oblige. Since I'm going to be away for a while so I thought I'd write chapter 3 as well. If there are any more complaints then I.... I’ll...I'LL CRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Or not. I could come when you are sleeping and force you to listen to 60's protest music. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!.... sorry I know that’s scary. Moving on. Anyway blah, blah, blah these character are not mine. They're owned by Nintendo...blah blah...and etc.
Oh yeah. Any use of Legalguy without my permission will result in a tragic and sudden death. I will kill you until you die from it!
With that said have a great day. :) In other words Legalguy is my creation just like Nintendo owns Legend Of Zelda. I own Legalguy!
So there. Boo-hoo!!!!
Scene 706 or Act:2
The Narration Job!
Narrator: well I'm here to give the people what they want. My own cooking show! *Martha Stewart type music playing*
Greetings! Today we are going to make fresh Koopa shell. Hmmmmm tasty. The first step is to turn on the oven like so. Remember to preset the oven to 400 degrees and ...... *Unnatural noises heard*
Link: What in the Sages is going ON here!!!!!
Narrator: *nervous laugh* Whatever do you mean?
Link: It looks to me like you are doing a cooking show! Well!?
Narrator: So what if I am? What are you going to do about it fairy boy? Hmm?
Link: The first thing I'm going to do is....
Narrator: You can’t hurt me I'm not REAL! Muhahahahahahaha! In fact you are going to help me!
Link: Bah! It is to laugh! HA HA HAHA!
Narrator: You asked for it! *As Link was about to attack the Narrator he noticed the oven had something shiny in it, and he thought to himself, "I wonder what this could be."*
Link: (I wonder what that object could be) *steps inside oven*
Narrator: (heh heh)
Link: Hey there is nothing in here.
*door shuts*
NOOOooooOOOOOOoooo. DuUmMb!
Narrator: Now you see why evil will always triumph. Because GOOD is dumb! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Link: man I feel sheepish!
*Ganon Appears*
Ganon: THIS IS ALL WRONG!!!!!!!
Narrator: *brow raised*
Ganon: I’m the BAD GUY! ME! *Confused*
Narrator: Hmmmm
Ganon: I'll show you whose more EVIL!
*Opens oven door*
Narrator: I take that back evil is dumber than good!
Link: See what I have to deal with!
*Zelda appears out of nowhere*
Zelda: ENOUGH ALREADY!!!!!!! *Voice thunders*
*All cringe*
Link: See now lOok WhAt yOu DiD.....*fear grips him*
Ganon: I want my Mommy!!!!
Zelda: I'll show you ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Much chaos ensues*
AAAHHHHHHHhhhhhhh
NoooOOOOOoooo
ThE HoRroR...THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I can’t feel my legs!!!!!!! Wait I don’t have legs! Even worse!
*Screen fades. Happy soothing music plays, and Link appears*
Link: Hi you might know me as Link. The Hero Of Time. Or Savior of Hyrule. Well do to the censors getting on our backs lately we are not able to show you what is going on behind me. But trust me it is WICKED SWEET!!!!!! Of course since I'm the Hero, and everyone loves me, and doesn't want any harm to come to me I will not be harmed in anyway possible. So just sit back and rel..... *paper handed to Link by somebody’s hand* This just in we here at Nintendo would give our permission to see Link pounded into a pulp. Sincerely, the Guys at Nintendo. Ummm there seems to be a problem. Wait! Lets take a poll. How many of you want to see me beaten within an inch of my life?
*Poll appears..*
Link loses.
Link: Well isn’t that just TERRIFIC! WHOEVER VOTED YOU ARE OFF MY GOOD THINGS LIST!!!!!!!!!!! I MEAN IT THIS TIME!
*hand grabs Link from faded background* NOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....*POW* OW *SLAM*
PAIN! *THUD* OoooHhhHHh ThE HuMaNiTy......
*thrashing stops and Zelda appears in Link's place*
Zelda: Hi everyone. *Waves* Now that I’ve taught those guys a lesson. *Groans heard* I think it would be fair for you the reader to get your story. So lets get back to the original plot, which was *drum roll* ... Nothing!
*thud* -_-' That can't be right! We had a plot didn’t we??
Scene 904. Act 2: Before the Silliness!
Narrator: We left Link and Zelda in the bedchambers at North Castle. But because I'm curious about Ganon.....
Ganon: BINGO!!!!!!!
Wizrobe 222: What is it Evil One?
Ganon: Hmm?
Stalfos 3: You said Bingo?
Ganon: Thats because I WON!!! *Dances for joy*
All: -_-'
Stalfos 3: Sir we are playing blackjack! *sighs*
Ganon: *happy dance ceases* Are you questioning me!?
All: *back away slowly*
Stalfos 3: Sire we aren’t playing Bingo. Therefore you can't win like that.
Ganon: *sly grin* So then. Are you saying I'm wrong!?
Stalfos 3: Well, yeah!
All: *GASP*
Ganon: I thought so! *Turns around* WHY YOU MISERABLE LITTLE WORM! I'LL CHEW YOU UP AND SPIT YOU OoOOOoUUUuuuTTTtttTTTTTttt!!!!!!!
All: (not here anymore. just don’t think about it)
*Grand piano crushes 3*
Narrator: Does anyone want to know where the piano came from?
All: NO!!!
Narrator: Drat... ;_;
Ganon: Well now that I've won at Bingo! *snaps fingers*
Legalguy: Yes O Smelly One.
Ganon: I want you to do something for me Legalguy.
Legalguy: Get you Geiko too?
Ganon: Yes. But not right now.
Legalguy: Are you sure?
Ganon: WHAT!? ARE YOU DEAF!!!!
Legalguy: (now I am)
Ganon: I cant read your thought patterns! STOP THAT! What do you think this is A CHEAP COMIC BOOooOOoKKkkkKKKkkkk!???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Legalguy: Of course not. What is your bidding my somewhat fat master?
Ganon: I want you to infiltrate North Castle and do evil bad type THINGS!
Legalguy: I'm out of spray paint. I used it last week on LAWYERMAN's car!
Ganon: I see. Well then just sell them door to door annoying items!
Legalguy: It shall be done!
Ganon: ha haha HA HAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA....
Legalguy: ha haha HA HAHA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *cough*
*fade to black screen*
Narrator: Oh No. Selling door-to-door items. WHAT fiends! What will happen to our unsuspecting heroes?
Tune in tomorrow same time, same channel... *cheesy music*
End of Act 2
Author Notes: Hmmmmm guess that was interesting. YUP. That’s the word well thought I'd annouce my original weekly humorous stories.
The Adventures Of LEGALGUY! Starting August 1st be sure to read and laugh till ya feel sick :) Also for future reference my Zelda stories will be moved to starting July 9th. Also my Smash Bro and Gundamwing fanfics will be up on around the same time as Legalguy appears on this site.
Be sure to catch Act 3: The Final Chapter: The Lost Yogurt makes an appearance...sort of!
Now here is a sneak peek of my original work, LEGALGUY!
Disclaimer: Do any of you remember the Tick cartoon show? Well if you don’t it was a good show. But Legalguy has nothing to do with that. I copyright Legalguy.
LORD TIMMY of COB! My sister copyrights Lawboy.
Legalguy: It was a day like any other day. My ceiling fan was broken so my clothes were sticking to me and it was getting really uncomfortable! Really.
Then there came a knock on my door:
.........
Legalguy: ahem. I said a knock at my door..... -_-'
I SAID a knock at my door. *Visibly annoyed*
I SAID A KNOCK AT MY DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Knock...knock*
Legalguy: She was by far the fattest guy I've ever seen.
fatlady: Excuse me?
Legalguy: (blast) Now I get a thought bubble!!!
fatlady: You must help me Legalguy!
Legalguy: What appears to be the trouble?
fatlady: It’s my cat.
Legalguy: Your cat?
fatlady: Yes my cat! *sob*
Legalguy: I see. So how much does your cat owe you?
fatlady: He owes me everything.
Legalguy: *sly smile* Really. Now I do charge a small fee of 30%. Also that is subject to change. *Wolfish grin*
fatlady: I'm sorry?
Legalguy: Yes my fee. You know my fee you pay me to--
fatlady: Rescue my cat out of a tree!?
Legalguy: Right, to rescue your-- *THUD* What?!
fatlady: Well you are a superhero are you not? I mean you’re dressed in a cape and cowl.
Legalguy: Oh I SEE.
fatlady: Excuse me?
Legalguy: JUST BECAUSE I WEAR A CAPE AND COWL YOU THINK I'M A HERO?! DID YOU EVER THINK I LIKE WEARING THEM TO WORK!!?????!!!! HUH???!!!
fatlady: Well I just assumed....!
Legalguy: Ah HA! You assumed!
fatlady: I don’t need to take this you know! I could go to Superman or Postageguy!
Legalguy: FINE!
fatlady: You know YOU ARE VERY RUDE MAN!
Legalguy: You're breaking my heart! HAHAHAHA!!!
fatlady: WHY YOU!!!! TAKE THIS!!!
Legalguy*BOP* OW! *BOP* STOP IT! *BOP* This is wrong! Do you hear me wrong!!! *SMASH* FoR ThE LoVE Of MmIikkKKeee... *CRACK* .... It hurts.....*WHOMP*
*knocked out*
fatlady: I'll be sure to tell my friends about you, jerk.
Narrator: And so ends yet another exciting short adventure of Legalguy. Be sure to tune in weekly starting August 1st for my words of wisdom from....
Legalguy: Ah BITE ME!
Be sure to tune in readers August 1st only at Fiction
The Original series Legalguy and Lawboy. All characters are owned and created by me.
If you would like to see a drawing of Legalguy and crew please email me. Thank you and as
Legalguy would say.
Legalguy: Go TALK to somebody who gives a FLYING TODD!!!!!
Review this Story/Chapter
Act 3 Raiders of the lost Yogurt COMING SOON August 2009 to FanfictionPress - http://www.fictionpress.com/u/113392/Lord_Timmy_of_Cob1
Monday, July 13, 2009
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Wii) Review
How bad is this game? Watch the blasted Review to find out! Ghostbusters for Wii is NEXT!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
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